Tomorrow is the day...

I don't know what to expect. I don't know what is going to happen. I just know that I have to be there at 10:15. I hate not knowing what's going to happen. I don't know if I just go in and they do it and I go home and act like nothing is going on or if I have to lay down for a while or stand on my head or what. I guess I will find out tomorrow. Please say all the prayers you can between now and then. I'll update tomorrow.

P.S.
That pregnyl injection I had to do to make me ovulate HURT! Now there is a knot at the injection site and man is it sensitive!

Gotta buy some new ones

I wish that was an option. The ovaries I got are defective! Well the follicles are growing, slowly. They are now 17mm and 19mm. He told me to do my trigger shot at 9 Saturday night. Why 9 I am not sure but I will do whatever he says. If he said to do it while standing on my head and balancing on one hand I would definitely try it. My IUI will be Monday at 10:15. I drop Jason's "collection" off at 8 then I go back for my part at 10:15. I was really hoping it would be on Saturday so he could be there with me but right now he is just too new at work to be asking for time off so I will do it alone. I am getting used to it I guess. He never has jobs that are flexible like mine. I think they would let him come in late for this but we just don't want to start with the time off requests so soon so I'll be fine. Everyone pray hard that this works! Its our last chance for a long time!

Daily Devotional

Thanks Melinda!

What is it in your life that you used to be excited about? Are there dreams that you’ve pushed down, goals that you’ve let go of? Too often, because those dreams seem to be taking a long time, or because we’ve been through some disappointments, we become complacent. It’s easy to just accept the fact that “it’s probably not going to happen for me.” But just because you gave up doesn’t mean God gave up. God never aborts a dream. He always fulfills His promises! That dream He placed in your heart may be pushed down by disappointments, setbacks, failures, or rejection. But know this; the seed is still alive.

The promise is still in you. You just need to get your fire back! That dream may look like it’s dead in the ground, but really, it’s just been planted. That means it’s coming back. It’s going to flourish! Our attitude should be “This may be taking a long time, and maybe I don’t see how it could happen, but I know God already has the completion date. I’m not going to give up on my dreams. I’m not going to go through life without goals, passion, or enthusiasm. No, I’m getting my vision back because I know God fulfills His promises!

"For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory"(II Corinthians 1:20, NLT).

Dr appt this morning

I went to the doctor this morning. He looked at my ovaries. Both of them have 1 follicle each that is about 14mm. They want them to be about 20mm when I do the HCG injection so he wants me to come back on Friday to have another look and then if they are big enough we will do the IUI on Saturday. My ovaries seem to respond less every month. The first month we did the injections I had big follicles almost immediately and then every month since they have been smaller and smaller. I thought since he upped me to 5 injections instead of 3 it would help that but guess not. I guess we'll see what Friday brings. As long as they cooperate on Friday I am really ok with being knocked back a couple of days because it easier for Jason to not have to get off work or anything. With him having issues this week with his car trouble we don't need him to have to ask for more favors. He is still new there and we don't want to rock the boat if you know what I mean. So hopefully Saturday will be it!

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Everytime I go to the doctor and then have to go get the prescriptions filled I get so upset about how expensive it is that I cry most of the way back to work and then I stress out all day about it. I had a doc appointment this morning. It was the usual, check my ovaries to make sure there are no cysts and then hand me a crap load of prescriptions that will cost be 4 arms, 3 legs, and 8 fingers. This time it 5 arms, 4 legs and 15 fingers because he threw in some extra injections and an estrogen pill. So now instead of taking 3 injections which is 1 every other day for 5 days, he has changed me to do 1 everyday for 5 days. Well guess what? That cost MORE MONEY! This is our last chance this year I guess because today's prescriptions cost me more than what I had left on my flexible spending account so I had to pay about $170 out of pocket. That's not too bad but it would be if we tried again next month and had to pay it ALL out of pocket. We are doing the IUI this time. So I will go in next Wednesday to make sure there are eggs ready to be released then he said I will need to take Jason's "collection" in probably Friday and do the procedure. This does have a better success rate than just the natural way but its still nothing definite so we will see.

Aunt Flo

She's here....and I HATE her!

Friday is coming...

I don't know if I am ready for Friday to be here or not. Technically Friday is the day I can take a pg test but I just know its going to be negative again and I just don't want to see that again. But then I guess its better than wondering what every twinge or pain is. I guess if its negative we can move on to the IUI and have a much better chance. I do have to say I am handling friends becoming pregnant better than I have previously. There was a time I would go in my bathroom and just cry but I am past that stage and have learned to deal. I am truly happy for them and I hope everything works out. Not that I have EVER wished that it wouldn't work out just that it took me some time to be happy for them. I am feeling overwhelmed. I can't concentrate on anything for very long. I am SO ready to have a few days off work. I will be off a couple days before Memorial Day weekend and a few days after and will hopefully get to spend a little time with Addisyn and she always makes me feel better. She is so much fun and she keeps me busy so I don't have time to sit and think.

Happy Mother's Day

I just thought I would say Happy Mother's Day to all of you that are mothers and even to those that are working hard to become mothers. I hope everyone has a great day.

Maybe next year I really will be a mother not just one of those working hard to be. I might lose my mind by then if I am still working at it.

The wrote a song about my life!...LOL

I love this song. It makes a lot of sense to me. You all know how my luck goes sometimes....Now I do have to say I have a great boss who I would never say anything bad about so ignore the first verse....lol

It Happens Lyrics
Missed my alarm clock ringing
Woke up telephone screaming
Boss man singing his same old song

Rolled in late about an hour
No cup of coffee, no shower
Walk of shame with two different shoes on
Now it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is
Psssh
It happens

My trusty-rusty had a flat
I borrowed my neighbors Cadillac"I'll be right back," going down to Wally World
That yellow light turned red too quickly
Knew that the truck moment it hit me
Out stepped my ex and his new girl("Sorry 'bout your neck baby")

But it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is
Psssh
It happens

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is
Psssh
It happens

Yeah, the irrefutable, indisputable, absoluteable, totally beautiful fact is
Psssh
It happens

Here is a link to the video if you actually want to HEAR the song :-)
http://community.cmt.com/Video/Sugarland-----It-Happens/0BEDCFFFF0198F1D5001700AE30DC

Here they come!

So you know all those people that I mentioned are pregnant around me? Well they are starting to pop! One had her baby last month, another had their baby yesterday, one is scheduled for c section May 28th. Then unfortunately two miscarried :-(. Baby Cayden (my new nephew) still has a little while to cook but he likes to give his mama hell and she has been having contractions here and there recently. Stay in there boy! Its not time to come out yet!

Anyway, the point of my post is that while I am very happy for everyone I would really like a turn. Is that too much to ask? I did my injections this month and all that stuff now we are at the beginning of the two week wait but I just don't think this is it. I should start my period again around the 15th. We will see I suppose.

P.S.
Jason started his new job today!

Stressed

As I posted before, Jason was offered a new job at a plumbing company. Well we were all excited about it and he really wanted it. Well now, he has put in his two week notice at his current job and they are falling all over themselves trying to get him to stay. He has told them the reason why he is leaving, money, opportunity, new experience, etc. They have offered him more money but still not what the new place is offering. They have offered to put him in a management position if/when one becomes available. Now they have us all confused. I still think going to the new place is best but what if I am wrong? What if he quits this place and then the plumbing company job ends up being worse? This is the part of being an adult that I hate. I just want someone to tell us what to do. I am afraid whatever he does will be wrong, but only god knows what is. Everyone I have talked to about it says they agree with me and that taking the new job is the best option but what if its not? Sheesh!